meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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