He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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