Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
