I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
