so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She bit a glass in half.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
