I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
