Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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