If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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