i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
