You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
