Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
