i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
