So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
