Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
