The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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