His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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