Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
