So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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