her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
