So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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