Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
