see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
