this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
