yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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