i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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