hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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