3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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