One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
