Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
