susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
