Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
