Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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