it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
