In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
