Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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