i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize