his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
