he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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