The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
