Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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