I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
