I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
