He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
