I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
