Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
