Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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