How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
