how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
