some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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