One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
