I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
