All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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