i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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