nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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